For those of you that know me, I .think most would say I am a positive person. I am usually an optimistic person. I am typically in a good mood and fairly easy to predict. I look at the bright side. I am not prone to depression. This week, however, I have just had a hard time.
I tend to post in a light-hearted writing style, but I want to be real. This will be unedited but I don’t want to only post or write fluff – the highlight reel of life. My emotions have been on high alert and very tender. I have cried more this week than the past year probably. It comes at the craziest of times. What is triggering this? As my dear husband is so good at, he made me think about why I was sad. He didn’t say it in so many words but he asked what really was wrong? What did I want? I didn’t even have an answer.
What was I sad about? Why so down trodden? Why the heavy heart?
You may be thinking the answer is obvious. So much is different! A LOT has changed this year. We all are missing much.
Truly Corona is not the root of the sadness. On top of all that emotion, one of the fathers of my faith passed this past week. Preacher Oliver Wolfenbarger was a man of great faith. No other man in my life compares to him and his long term faithfulness and boldness for Christ. He had a love for the gospel that could not be contained. He had a love for people that was selfless. But this is not about this loss either. It truly is a celebration that he has seen his Savior. It was his time to be home.
I miss my traditions! I begin to evaluate which ones and why. I encourage you to look at the past years and this year. What brought you joy? I asked myself, “Tara, what is your joy in?” What do you find comfort in? Which activities made you “happy”? What exactly has you in this sad space? As I tried to answer, it was routine and tradition. Don’t get me wrong, I love traditions and I feel they are valuable and important.
However, when it comes down to it, what is important?
Is it a new dress? Is it coordinating outfits? Is it dying eggs that eventually get thrown in the trash? Is it being in a church building? Again let me say, none of this is bad in and of itself. I love a good family Easter picture and I long to worship corporately again. Let me just say, it is a blast to get my teen boys to cooperate and enjoy any of this anymore. They think I am nuts when I ask them to do the things we used to do as toddlers. Mommas of littles, enjoy it while it lasts. Dye the Easter eggs and make all the crafts!
What I just want to preach to myself is life interruption is not bad. Traditions are not bad but neither is change. I need to focus on Christ and not our culture. Obviously, I need to work on where my joy and comfort come from. I need to embrace where God has me and lean in to hear clearly from Him. I need to enjoy Him more and allow my children to see that in me and pray it is contagious.
A lot is different this year but the important things are NOT!!!! God has not changed. His character has not changed. The scriptures have not changed and what we celebrate this week of Holy Week has not and will not change.
Let’s look at 1 Timothy 2:1-6. Would you take the time to read it?
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.”
Throughout this weekend, I had to remind myself multiple times through God’s word that the important stuff has not changed!
I miss being at church together. I miss hugs from my church kiddos. I miss my extended family. Frankly, I miss real school. I miss baseball and soccer. I miss our crazy schedule because of competitive gymnastics at Gymtek Academy. I miss our local church Family Easter Celebration and egg hunt. I miss date nights with my husband. I miss not cooking 3 meals and 3 snacks a day – lol. I miss simple traditions. But I am thankful still. I am thankful for this time to slow down and be with my immediate family. I am super thankful for the kids and I have extra time with Bert. I am thankful for sweet surprises from friends – donuts, sugar cookies, notes – that lift my spirits and make me feel loved. I am thankful for a job where I can still do what I love. I am thankful for technology that enables me to continue to share the gospel. I am thankful for our safety and health at the moment. I am thankful for all those doing there part to stop this thing. I am thankful for all the brave ones on the frontlines of this fighting for us all. Most of all, I am thankful for my Savior that defeated the grave and in doing so provided me a way to salvation and a relationship with God the Father.
My favorite quote from the weekend was from Paul Tripp. He said, “do not let the crisis cloud the cross.” Well, ok God, I thought! I hear you loud and clear!!! There is NO crisis that can overshadow the work and good news of the cross! Can we celebrate this tonight and tomorrow and every day moving forward? No matter our circumstances, the cross remains the same. The victory is still ours as believers of the Jesus.
One last thing that has not changed and is straight from 1 Timothy 2:5. Jesus is the ONE mediator between us and God. There is no other way to the Father except through the sacrificial blood of Jesus Christ. This is why we celebrate! This is where I find my JOY and COMFORT and PEACE and all. the. things!!! Jesus is who we celebrate – not just tomorrow but every day.
Friends, there is one mediator that has or can reconcile us to a holy God. Have you allowed him to do that for you? Have you surrendered your happiness to His holiness? Will you base your strength on the character of Christ and not on crisis or circumstances?
I pray for you, as I pray for myself, that our strength, hope and peace be found in CHRIST ALONE. Let’s claim John 16:33.
Jesus said, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Gotta go to bed…I love you 1,000 elephants!
your rooted and restless friend,
Tara